Monday, January 4, 2010

The Joy of a Clean Slate. And the EVIL REFRIGERATOR that ruins my life.

I love a new year. Don't you?
Even though I know that nothing but the calendar has really changed, I can't resist a clean slate. A chance to start over, to take a good long gaze at my bellybutton. To examine all the deep dark things about myself that bug me and pledge again to try to make myself a better person. And then to throw my hands in the air and hide in my closet with the last piece of Christmas fudge.
Ha ha. Just kidding. (There's no more fudge left anyway.)

You know what else a new year is good for in Greer, South Carolina?
Maybe I never told you about EVIL REFRIGERATOR.
Here he is.

If he doesn't look so evil to you, it's because you haven't met him.
EVIL REFRIGERATOR wasn't here when we bought the house or we might never have signed the papers.
I'm not kidding.
Back in 2003, when we were young and naive and fresh from our tiny French closet of a kitchen, I saw the circle of cabinets and the miles of Formica topped counters and promptly tackled my realtor and smothered him with kisses. And why wouldn't I? It had a double sink and storage galore! And--be still my heart--just look at the huge hole for the fridge! No longer would the foodstuffs of my life be forced to suffer a dorm sized refrigerator! Hallelujah and Amen!

So we bought the house, bought the fridge, and all my dreams went to Hades.
Not really, but have you taken time to notice where it fits?

This is where it fits. Right in front of the end of the bar. There is precisely 22 inches of passage room. 9 1/4 inches if one of the doors of EVIL REFRIGERATOR is open.
If your family is a set of beanpoles, who set their stomachs to get hungry on a rotating basis, then you'd be fine with this arrangement.
That's not us. We have hungry boys who run 8 miles a day and tear into the kitchen like bears foraging for mounds of raw meat, like WWE wrestlers ready to SmackDown, get the idea.
And it does happen. ALL THE TIME. This tiny passageway is like a magnet, drawing everyone who lives here to itself. Sometimes we find ourselves-all five of us- standing there facing each other, trying to get through.

So this explains the radical thing my husband decided to do.
He's moving EVIL REFRIGERATOR. Himself.
No professionals involved. Even though this involves installing new wiring and plumbing.

(Did you hear that noise? It's me squeaking, "Somebody help me please."

Here's what he's done so far.

It only involved five trips to Home Depot.
Just kidding, honey. Good work!
See, he took off both cabinets where EVIL REFRIGERATOR will find it's new home. And not be so evil anymore.
Oh wait, that picture doesn't show the four holes he cut in the wall. For new wiring and plumbing. Only one was an accident.
Here's one of them.

That's the new pipe and plumbing my clever husband put in.
And this is my office where I'll be sitting,

trying to work on my next book and crossing my fingers that the new pipe was installed correctly and won't flood the house during his next business trip.
Nice cabinets, huh? I'm hoping that's very temporary.

So what projects are you starting this year?
Maybe if EVIL REFRIGERATOR turns to the good side I'll teach my doggy to do this.

Or maybe not.
Have a great Monday, y'all!
Love, Becky


T. Anne said...

Good for your husband! In my house it would have stayed there and tormented me forever. Something are. ;)

Gwen Buchanan said...

Oh I feel... yes, I understand... the stories I could share with you would only clog your brain and you'd never have space enough left up there to work on your book...

there is light at the end of the tunnel..

...progress is good

Anonymous said...

I love progress! And Todd's plucky spirit and your wonderful way of enjoying/enduring with wit and laughter! Hugs!

Susie said...

That last comment was me (er..sisoe aka susie).. boy do I need glasses.

May @ Anne and May said...

Sometimes I'm glad I have a Chihuahua. There's almost nothing he can reach!

I must say, I'm slightly jealous of your handy husband. I love mine but neither of us can do more than change a light bulb or sew on a button. We're helpless!

Angela K. Nickerson said...

Oh, I've been there! I came home from Italy a few years ago to find that our kitchen cabinets were sagging off the walls. We'd had a leak (which the husband didn't notice) and the drywall wasn't at all DRY!

So, 4 months later I had a new kitchen... but the mess, the craziness. You have my every sympathy -- and congrats on a new fridge! :)

Ronnie said...

Go Todd! What a hero. If only Joe were as handy. I have to open the pantry door to fully open the fridge in order to pull out the veg drawer.
I'll say it again, Go Todd! What a hero! Can't wait to see Evil Fridge in his new home.
Those people need to get a dachshund.

Susan said...

Oh I am so proud of your hubby. What a wonderful thing to do. You will love it. I cant wait to see Tanner drinking from the fridge.

La Belette Rouge said...

Thanks, Rebecca, for the lovely comment you left on my blog.

My dog loves our ice machine on our fridge. If she could reach the ice machine I fear our house would look like the arctic.

JaxPop said...

Ha! We've got a similar set up for our fridge - though a bit more room. The architect that did our house was in love with angles & shapes (& glass - yikes) so there's no way to renovate that space. Hope y'all had a terrific Christmas. Best of everything to you, Todd & the kids for 2010.

lotusgirl said...

I'm designing a whole new house. It will probably never be built, but I'm planning it anyway. I already have the preliminary plans drawn up. Complete with work room for me and my computer. A laundry room big enough so that the piles don't end up in the hall and adjoining room. And a gargantuan pantry.

Kim said...

I think Tanner will be excellent at drinking from Evil Refrigerator! I seem to have the same problem in my hallway whenever anyone visits. We all seem to be trying to pass each other in the hall, and, well, it doesn't work due to the pile of books that are waiting for my brother to finish building my book case for the living room.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

That is one poorly conceived spot to put a fridge...I bet the contractor was a MAN! Glad you got that fixed at last!

Barb said...

Oh Becky,
I understand! The good news is that my hubby won't try anything that has to do with plumbing or pipes (thank God).

The video was hysterical. Tommy is way too short (Bassett hound) which is a good thing.

big hugs,

cindy said...

LOL LOL LOL! And I thought I was the only one whose hubby always had to make several trips to the HD anytime a home project was happening! Hope it all works out!