This is not so much a Wonder, but a Wonder Why.
Take a look at my sink. See what's been stuck in there for oh...two months now?
Okay, wait a minute.
Before I get to the point of today's blog, I have a confession to make. My sink doesn't usually look this good.
I cleaned it for you. With Soft Scrub.
You're a guest in my house, and I didn't want you to see the grime, the stray hairs, the slimy bar of soap. But I really want to be honest here and not make things look better than they really are. So before I get to the point of this post, here's what my tub looks like.
Tanner says hello. He's smiling because he thinks I'm going to give him a bath. I used to think that I wanted a whirlpool tub, but have you ever tried to clean those little jets? It's impossible. The only family members that have ever used this tub are Sam, when he was four, and Tanner, who doesn't care for the jet feature.
Back to looking at my tub. I've seen much, much worse in my house, but still. There's a ring around it if you look close, and some dog hair, (but that's everywhere. ) It's full of dirty towels because a terrible stomach bug hijacked the house a few weeks ago and let's just say the bathmats were casualties. I tried to clean them, but finally couldn't take it anymore and threw them out. I'm too cheap to buy new mats right now, and so all the people who use my shower throw a towel on the floor when they get out and stand on that. I have way too many people using my shower. My youngest says the shower in the kids' bathroom is scary. I looked at it and I have to agree.
Anyway, back to the whole point of this.
See the scissors in the sink? They're stuck there because two months ago the rod for my stopper came all the way out, making the sink stopper perpetually closed. This has happened before and I've fixed it. Counting the time to find the wrench, (eight minutes,) the whole operation takes maybe ten minutes. It's not brain surgery.
But no, I don't do that. I just leave the scissors in when I want the water to drain out, and take them out when I want to fill the sink.
Are you still with me? I'm getting to my point.
The weird thing about this, the reason why I call this a Wonder Why, is that this behavior is completely opposite of how I conduct my working life. With my writing, I can't seem to control my urge to fix things. I will work on one chapter for weeks, fixing it and fixing it again, refining it when I really should move on and go back later. Often all that work is for naught, because a chapter gets thrown out in the end. Or is greatly changed.
I've been at this blog less than a week, and my urge to refine is just as bad.
Yesterday, five minutes after I posted, I sneaked back into the post and edited again. And then again. And just once more. An hour later, a bigger wave of insecurities washed over me. Did I sound too Pollyanna, talking about how the universe was full of goodness? Or too New Age? Would I scare people by mentioning God? Should I tell people I sew? I'm not channeling Martha Stewart or Betty Homemaker (not that there's anything wrong with that:) I'm just too cheap to buy costumes I can make myself.
And look at my wording! I could do a better job with just a little more time. Just one more edit. Please?
I spent all day long thinking about that dumb post, when I was supposed to be getting my writing work done.
So here's my question, bloggers, and anyone else that wants to contribute. Respondez, s'il vous plait:
How do you let go of what you send out into the internet, and not obsess about it all day long?
How do you not check for comments constantly? How do you go on with work, especially if you're like me and have no boss looking over your shoulder?
I hope that didn't sound too desperate. Maybe I ought to edit this out.
On second thought. NO.